Spider Man - No way home

Salma • February 8, 2022

Can we really juggle our identities?

About a month ago, on the 15th of December, Spider-Man: No Way Home premiered in the UK. The movie, third in its trilogy, showed us Peter Parker trying to juggle his now public persona of Peter Parker with who he represents as Spider-Man – or rather, who he was taught from his Aunt May (and possibly his Uncle Ben) - that he represents, as Spider-Man.


None of us are superheroes in the technical definition of the term (right?), and none of us has had to decide whether we should help a villain who has multiple personality disorder to get rid of his second evil personality or send him back to his regular timeline to die (right?!), but identity? How do we balance our identities? 


That's something that most – if not all – of us are familiar with. How often have we read 'who are you?' at the beginning of an application or an interview, or been asked the same question when meeting new people? And how many of us just had a moment of panic when the question was asked because there is no one answer that we can use every time we are asked? I'd say too many times.


No Way Home ends with Spider-Man continuing to exist while 'Peter Parker' is erased from the minds of everyone he knows and loves, but real life is not that easy. Ordinary people don't have a handsome sorcerer living in the neighbourhood willing to do us a favour (right?).


So how do we cope with trying to juggle who we are? How do we cope with trying to understand who we are? I'd love to give you an answer. I'd love to have an answer. But, truth to be told, there is no answer for this. Which sort of sucks.

We can only do one thing: acknowledge that each part of our identity is what makes us whole. Because we are not one thing, we are not one character trait: we are multidimensional beings with multiple facets, attributes, and flaws, and while embracing them all will take most of our lives for many, accepting them will take less.


In the end, the world might have forgotten Peter Parker, but he's still there: sitting inside the Spider-Man suit.

Friendship

June 16, 2024
Friendship is a very important part of anyone’s life. Sometimes it’s hard to find, but when you do? It’s worth it. Friendship means having someone who is with you when you need it, someone who loves and supports you by their own choice, someone who picked you voluntarily. It’s someone who decided you would be their person for a reason that had nothing to do with being blood and/or legally related to you. Members of your family can, of course, be your friends; but usually, that is not the case. Usually, your friends are people that you chose and people who chose you, people who are willing to stand by you no matter what. Friends don’t give up on one another. Friends are there for each other through good and bad, stand by one another’s side though thick and thin. Friends know when to push the boundaries and when to pull them back. Some friends, however, don’t know that. It is just so easy to follow friends into bad habits, and often, that’s how you end up caught up in a life you didn’t think you would ever end up in. You just wanted to help a friend. And then, somehow, your entire life is upside down. At the end of Spider-Man: No Way Home, Peter goes to the café where MJ works, because he had previously promised her and Ned that he would tell them the truth of what happened to him, so that he could get them back in his life. However, after seeing MJ’s injury and how happy she and Ned both looked even without knowing him, he takes a step back. He decides to let them live their own happy lives away from the mess his existence had previously forced them into. One could argue that Peter shouldn’t have done that. That Peter and they went through some really messed up stuff together, and by not telling them the truth, he is robbing them of their agency to choose for themselves. He is not being truthful, and, to a certain degree, I understand. But I also understand Peter’s point of view. Because sometimes your friends don’t drag you into terrible situations on purpose. Sometimes they get caught into these terrible situations, and you choose to follow them there because you are a true friend, and because you love them. But it’s not what either of you truly wants. Sometimes, friendships means knowing when to let go of one another. Sometimes, love is taking a step back and surviving long enough to save yourself first. Friendship is a lot of things. But mostly, it’s complicated. Really complicated. Author: Salma (young person on work experience)

Is Saying No So Bad?

June 16, 2024
One of the biggest problems we have, as young people, is saying ‘no’. Such a simple word, right? As children, we could say all we wanted. We did say ‘no’ whenever we wanted. We have said ‘no’ and ‘why’ often enough that it’s a miracle all of our parents weren’t driven nuts by it (I say this a former nursery workers… children really do love saying ‘no’ and ‘why’). And then we grew up. Then we grew up, and we were thrown into this new world of being an adult, where saying ‘no’ to things was suddenly seen as somehow taboo. As being wrong, and disrespectful, and as if saying ‘no’ immediately makes you lazy, untrustworthy, and a whole host of bad no-good qualities. To once more take an example from Spider-Man: No Way Home, do you notice how many of Peter’s problems would have been solved if he had just said ‘no’ once? Whether you believe his actions with the villains were right or wrong, if he had simply said no – as he clearly wanted to – when Aunt May made him help out the Vulture, everything in his life would have been easier. It might not have been in character for Peter Parker – especially after he learnt what was going to happen to them – but it would have made his life hell of a lot easier. The only reason he didn’t say ‘no’, is because he is a superhero, and superheroes are created with the idea that they are able to suffer through the worst with a brave smile on their faces because they are heroes and ‘that’s what heroes do’. But we aren’t superheroes. We aren’t meant to be superheroes. We don’t save the world, and us saying ‘no’ to things we find rude, annoying, disrespectful, or simply don’t want to do, won’t make the Multiverse break free. It is your right to refuse things. It’s your right to stand by what you believe in and say ‘no’. Saying ‘no’ is hard. But you know what’s harder? Never saying no. Author: Salma (young person on work experience)

Lonely

June 16, 2024
Being lonely is such an odd experience. You can be lonely virtually anywhere, no matter where you are, no matter who you are with. You can be lonely while sitting alone in your room; you can be lonely at home, while sitting in the living room with your family; you can be lonely at school or at work, surrounded by peers and colleagues; you can be lonely outside, walking on sidewalks with strangers pushing at every side of you. It's weird. It makes sense, I suppose, to be lonely while you are literally alone in your room. But you aren’t alone when you are surrounded by friends, family and acquaintances. So what gives? Why does one feel lonely when, according to everything around them they should have no reason to be? One of the opening sequences of Spider-Man: No Way Home is Peter, accompanied by MJ and Ned, walking into school. His identity has been unveiled to the world, and everyone – news reporters, classmates, teachers, fellow students – is outside, waiting and watching him, judging him, commenting on him even though they don’t actually know who he is. Peter had both MJ and Ned at his side, who obviously understood (to a degree) what he was going through. He wasn’t alone. But that scene was particularly powerful to me. Because that’s what it feels like, to be alone in a crowd. The words don’t register, your ears seem to ring, and you are enveloped in a white feeling you can’t even begin understand. And you know what the weirdest thing about that is? That while you are sitting there, feeling alone? More people than you’d guess are feeling the exact same way. You think you are the only one feeling the crushing weight of being alone in the room, but if you turn around for a second, if you look for a moment, you will find out that it’s not quite the case. We all feel lost. We all wonder of our place in life. We all question what to do, and what to do next. Us young people, we are all a little lonely inside, we are all a little lost. I should encourage you to open up. To reach out to your fellows, so that you can push past that loneliness that some days seems just too heavy to shrug off. But that is not as feasible as some adults in your life insist. So instead, how about we be lonely together? Author: Salma (young person on work experience)